Dear Kev!n,
I write this to you today with a heavy heart. Before my head hits the pillow tonight, this
will have been one of the most bitter sweet days of my life. While I look
forward to my safe return home with Daddy and Gabe, and my heart will be filled
with joy when I see your sister for the 1st time in 8 days, I am also saddened.
There is a pit in my stomach and heartache I could never explain. Tears stream down my face as I write this to you now, as I have left a piece of
my heart behind.... In Uganda..... I have left you.
Today I have done the most emotionally difficult and
heart wrenching thing..... When we got to the airport, we got the bags out of
the car and you put your little book bag on. (We gave you a Thomas the Train
book bag this week, and you just loved it. You carried it everywhere we
went!).... While we were unloading all of our luggage from the van, you put your
little book bag on and you were excited for the journey....the journey you
could not take. It was torture riding to the airport with you sleeping in my
lap, all the while knowing that I could not explain to you what was about to
happen. So we wrote you letters. Gabe put a little black and white composition
book in your book bag, and we each wrote you a letter in the hopes that someone
in your family will find them and read them to you. Mommy's letter is first,
then Gabe's, then Daddy's. Knowing that there was no way to explain what was
going on, I gave you a big hug and a bunch of slobbery kisses. Gabe and Daddy
gave you hugs and kisses too, and Daddy had to hold Gabe up because he was so
upset he could barely hold himself up.
I gave you a bunch more kisses and told you that Mommy loves you and
promised that I would come back for you. Then I had to put you in a car while
you were crying. You thought you were coming with us and did not know where we
were going or if we were ever coming back, but I buckled your seat belt and
gave you one last kiss and shut the door. It was awful. Daddy had already
dragged Gabe away and I had to pull it together and tell a little white lie.
When I met Daddy and Gabe, Gabe was very concerned and asked if you were ok
when I put you in the car. I had to lie and tell him you were fine because I
could not bear to tell the truth. As we have now been traveling for close to 25
hours and are almost home, I use this time to reflect on our first days
together. I pray that God will put the peace that passes human understanding in
your heart and mine. I pray that Abba Father will speak words to your heart
that I could not speak to your ears. I pray that you know how much we love you
and that you will know we will come for you. I pray to be safely reunited with
your sister soon , and most of all I pray to have all 3 of my children together
so we can begin the next step in our journey.
We all love you and miss you. We can't wait to see your
smiling face again soon!
Love Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment