Woke up next to my new little snuggler and my big snuggler on the other side of you. (By the way- Daddy continues to yell at Gabe because Gabe is constantly sneaking in kisses..... All over your face. Its pretty funny. Sometimes you welcome them and want to give him kisses back, and sometimes it looks a little bit like molestation! Daddy tells Gabe that if he did that to a little girl, he would be put in jail. So Daddy holds Gabe down and slobbers all over his face to show him how it feels. I'm laughing out loud even now with the images in my head. You like to give us kisses on the cheeks, but I honestly wonder if you have ever kissed anyone before or if you picked it up from Gabe because you kind of leave your mouth open when you kiss our cheeks- pretty funny, but they are welcomed!
So we go to the 10th floor for our usual free breakfast. By now we have learned to communicate pretty well, surpassing the language barrier. But you are always bouncing off walls and since we are constantly having to tell you "no no" and ichilaho in your language, we sometimes miss things. For example- at breakfast you keep saying the same thing over and over and are whining a bit. We keep telling you no no and sit down, but felt a little bad when the lady who worked there told us that you were only asking for passion fruit juice. Sorry Buddy.
So we get your juice and sit down together. You decide you want things from Gabe's plate, and you reach over and grab what you want and shove it in your mouth before Gabe has a chance to react. Its kind of funny. It doesn't matter how bad Gabe wanted that item....even if it was the very last one.... He would smile and let you have it. He loves you so much, and he has such a kind heart. It makes me happy to see. And you are very demanding, always wanting your food or drink first, but Gabe doesn't complain a bit that you are getting more attention than he. So, to our surprise, you do know how to use a fork....kind of. You seem to like using it for french fries, or "chips" as they call them in Uganda, but rice and mooshy items- you seem to prefer your hands. And if you don't like something or if you get a seed in your mouth, you just spit it on the floor. I try to tell you no no, but I am pretty sure this is fairly common for the area you are from. In addition, you are constantly throwing trash on the floor or on the ground.
Mr Ronald, who is my "go-to" source of information tells me that both of these things are normal behavior for someone from a village, so we don't give you such a hard time about it.... We laugh, I apologize to whomever may be looking at us, and clean it up.
Mr Ronald picked us up and took us to the IOM Medical office. We have to get a medical exam for you as part of the immigration requirements . We weren't told ahead of time that we should have made an appointment well in advance, so when Daddy tried to call the week before we came, he was just told to try back in a month. This is how peeps roll in Uganda! We figured we would try to show up and see if they could squeeze you in. As we were showing our identification to the armed guards, you kept trying to run off. I kept grabbing you, but you got loose. You walked through the door, and were standing just outside the guard shack. I could still see your back, so just kept an eye on you until I finished signing in. As I walked out of the door, I found you - how should I say this- peeing- right out in front of the whole world. I tried to hurry you since there was a lady and her daughter coming our way. Boy, you are a handful!
Mr Ronald went with us to try to help talk our way into being seen, to no avail. But they did let us make an appointment for the following week- for your grandmother to bring you back. We got all the documents in order for Pepa- this is the agency in Uganda.
Next we went to Dorothy's office. She is our attorney through the agency. We beat her there, so we all got out and threw the ball around in the front yard of her office. Daddy and I wanted to take a break, so we got back in the car with Mr Ronald. A few minutes later, you and Gabe had disappeared behind some bushes, and Gabe starts screaming blood murder. He is calling my name- screaming for me and now calling for Daddy too! My heart drops in an instant- there is razor wire around the property and broken glass on the ground. I was sure you were hurt! I fling open my door, almost in tears- as Mike's door flies open as well! We spill out of opposite sides of the car and race towards Gabe.... Frightened for what we are about to find! Then...... Gabe says " Kevin is taking a DUMP!"
I'm still confused and my heart racing.... He tells us that you just pulled your pants down and started going. Yes, son- I'm sorry- I did just tell the whole world, but its all part of our story.
I told Daddy "This one's all you", and I got back in the car laughing. Luckily we were prepared with tp in the back pack. Daddy came back to clean you up. He said you were in your birthday suit.
Once again- Mr Ronald told us that there was no need for concern, that this was perfectly acceptable where you are from..... Although I'm not sure this will be so easily explained if we are at church or in the mall parking lot- back in the states, but we will work on it.
So, we saw Ms Dorothy, who helped prepare us for what to expect in court. She told us that we got the judge who will ask us all kinds of questions. He will be watching us interact with you, and he will want to see pictures of us with you, as well as want us to have shown interest in learning about Uganda. So Dorothy suggested that we visit some local historic sites.... The tombs, parliament, the museums, or something.
She did say that you looked like you fit right in with us, as you were running back and forth in her office, giving me big open mouth kisses on the cheek, sitting in my lap, and literally climbing all over Gabe and giving him kisses too.
I just can't explain it- but if we weren't still trying to learn how to speak to each other, it would seem like you were always with us!
Back to the communication barrier- at one point you decided to open the door and try to run out of the room. I kept pulling you back, and closing the door. Finally her assistant walked in and explained that you were saying that you had to go to the bathroom. Yikes! I guess we better learn that one! ..... Quinyata.... Ok- mental note- got it.
So, once we left Ms Dorothy's office, Mr Ronald tool us to the parliament. The tour guide was trying to give us her talk track and you were (as always) running all over the place, trying to take the camera from Daddy, on my lap, off my lap- up the walls! She kept trying to distract you and to take your hand to lead you in another direction, but you kept trying to push her hand away. She commented on how stubborn you were. We just smiled and said- "yes, we know."
We learned all about how Uganda and Buganda came to be and about the different tribes, the burning of the tombs, the Kings, and the President.
Then we went to see the palace and the old torture chambers. This was all extremely interesting.
Once we left, we were told that we needed to go see the local agency office- Pepa. We weren't sure why; we just thought we had some paperwork to sign or something.
This is the 1st time we really saw the poverty of Uganda. The houses near the office were shacks at best. Mostly people sitting around in the dirt, children with scraps of clothing, babies with a tattered shirt and nothing else- dirt and dust everywhere. Bone thin animals romping around.... Not much of anything anywhere other than dirt and dust. The people were beautiful - in their own way.... As much as one might say they looked sad..... I don't know that I would say that. Who am I to say they are sad because they don't have things that they don't know of? The children were still happy, running around- playing in their dirty, torn rags, beaming with smiles as they waved at us as we passed. Some of the brave ones even ran to our window to say hello and touch my hand. While they certainly are without many things, I would like to think they are happy people, just living a different life!.... Maybe naïve, but that's honestly the only way I can sleep at night after seeing that. Otherwise I'm gonna have to convince Daddy to sell it all and move to Uganda.
So, after a long day, I was pretty worn out, and not as sharp, mentally, as I would normally be. We park and walk up to the Pepa office. I walk in with you, Gabe, and Daddy in tow. I'm not really aware of my surroundings, but I see a lady who tells me to take a seat, so I do. All of a sudden I see you between the legs of a young man who is sitting to my right. You have your arms on his legs and I am a bit put off by this. I ask the young man if he knows you. He smiles and says "yes, I know Kevin." ..... Knowing that I am missing something, I ask if he is related and he replies "yes, I'm his uncle". Now I look around the room and see another young man, 2 unfamiliar ladies, and your grandmother all sitting along the wall. I know this is your family. (Your village leader was there as well. These would be the witnesses for court.) Feeling a bit embarrassed, I stand up to greet your grandmother and the others. We introduce ourselves, and I'm feeling a bit awkward. I'm happy and sad and feeling all kinds of crazy at the same time. I'm a little jealous that you would rather be with your uncle Giddeon, than myself.... I know that's a very immature way to feel, but this is how I felt. I was happy to know that you had a family though... A group of people who have been loving you all this time. I hope they have been hugging and kissing you and telling you how smart and funny you are. I hope they have been grateful for every waking second that they have had you in their lives. In a way I'm also hoping to see some obvious signs of sadness in their eyes. Please try to understand if I can articulate this in a way that makes sense. I don't want them to be sad for the sake of being sad. But someday when you will read these letters and ask me about this day, I want to be able to tell you that their hearts were breaking to give you away. I want to know that they will miss you so you will know without a shadow of a doubt that they loved you deeply. I'm confused because I can not read their emotions. Their faces are straight, and I'm the only one in the room with tears in my eyes. I don't know why this is so difficult. I want to see some sign of approval from them, that they can see our love for you already or confirmation that they know they made the right choice. I'm afraid that maybe they will still change their minds, but in a strange way- also wanting to know that they still want you themselves. Its just too much! (Peace, God- give me peace right now, calm my mind.)
Then Appo, our Uganda agency coordinator, asks us all to stand and introduce ourselves. When we are all done, he encourages us to take this opportunity to ask any questions of each other that we would like. Everyone went. Gabe and I were last. Gabe was a bit shy in this situation, and he wanted me to speak for him. It took the urging of everyone in the room to get you to finally stand and introduce yourself. (Later, Mr Ronald explained that it is very rare to see a mazoongo child in person- up close and even more rare to hear one speak. He said that usually if mazoongo children come to Uganda, they are kept safe and not allowed to go near the public. I thought this was kind of sad....once again making me feel bad that we too had those same fears when we first got there. But now I consider Mr Ronald our friend and your family- a new part of our extended family.)
Now its my turn. Need I say.... I AM NOT looking forward to having to talk at all for fear I will just lose it. Also, I know there is one question that you would never forgive me of not asking.... When it got to me, its kind of a blur. I'm pretty sure I managed to say my name and said I had one question...... I started by saying that we already loved you and definitely wanted you to come be part of our family, but wanted to know why they were "giving you to us". Now, admittedly I know this is not the best phrasing but I don't know what words may have sounded better. And I'm thankful that Appo heard me and understood. I'm quite sure that it didn't come out much above a whisper. Everyone was trying to figure out what I wanted to know and Appo explained my question. Again, I think I was looking for some dramatic display of emotion, but the answer was pretty simple.... Your two uncles are fairly young and are enrolled at the University, being supported by your other family members. Your one aunt has 5 children between the ages of 7- 17 years old. Your Aunt Joy, who is a pastor does not have the money, and your grandmother is in her 60's with poor health and no source of income. She has been your primary caregiver. She didn't say this, but I'm pretty sure she is afraid of what will happen to you if she isn't around anymore. The 2nd question that I asked was for a little better understanding of how your biological mommy and daddy passed. There was not much information, but I think its mostly due to lack of medical technology in the area.
They asked us if you would have anymore brothers and sisters. We told them that you would become a little brother and a big brother all at the same time. We told them about Havannah, and showed them her pictures in the picture books that we made for them. (By this time, you had learned who Havannah was by going through the pictures with us- you loved those picture books! Every time we would see her picture, you would say her name and kiss her face! Of all the strangers in the picture books, it was she who captured your heart. If its possible to love someone from only a picture, I'd be sure that you loved her already.)
Your family also wanted to know if we would send you to school and what our religion was. They were all born again Christians, so they were pleased to hear that we are as well and that you would be going to a Christian school.
I then thought to ask if they could tell us about your likes and dislikes, but there was no answer offered.
Later, I asked Mr Ronald if he could guess why there were no hugs and kisses or tears from your other family. He said that's just part of the culture.
Exhausted after a long, emotion filled day, Mr Ronald took us back to our hotel.
Free food and waters on floor 10 and off to bed for a big day tomorrow..... Court!
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