The BIG NEWS

Well, I'm not quite sure where to start..... So much has happened since my last blog. Hmm. Ok so rewind to the week before Easter.... Today would be March 28th....So I'm sitting at my parents house, where I go for lunch or a cup of coffee sometimes while I'm in there area on a work day, since they live about 45 minutes from my house. Meanwhile, Mike and Gabe are at home sick today with the stomach bug.  So my mom isn't home, it's just me and my dad. My phone was over by the door, where I have to take my shoes off when I come in because no shoes allowed in the house. My phone was almost dead and I didn't have my charger, so I didn't think there was even any juice left in it. Dad and I are talking and I hear my phone ring, but didn't go get it because I didn't want to be rude. Then it rings again right after it had stopped, so I figure maybe it's something important, so I run over to get it but have now missed the 2nd call as well. Look at caller I.D. And it's an out of town number that I don't recognize so I quickly check my voice mail before the battery goes dead. It's our case worker at our agency , with a simple message to call her. I instantly get chills because I know there is absolutely no reason fer her to be calling me at this point unless she has news of some sort...... But the only news we are waiting on is that they have found our son, and it couldn't be that because we only started this process in December and I know people that have been waiting almost 2 years for a referal.  Still..... I'm hopeful because I have had this feeling over the last few weeks that it was coming soon. I mean God has been planning this since the day I was born and even though everyone has said that it would be months or years, I know God has been working on this for longer than anyone realizes it.
So I call A (we are not supposed to use names.) The 1st thing she asks is if Mike is with me and now I know! I know I am about to get news that will change our lives forever, so I can't even speak. I get       that slightly light headed feeling and my eyes start to water, and I try to talk but my throat is thick. So I am quiet for a moment to collect myself, and she checks to see if I am still on the line. I put my phone on speaker now because my dad is next to me and I want him to hear what she is going to say         next.....  I finally am able to tell her that I am at my parents house and Mike is at home sick. So she tells me that they have a referal for us.....they have identified our son! He is a 3 year old healthy boy named "k" , as we shall call him for mandatory privacy reasons. He lives with his grandmother and both of his biological parents are gone.  A said she has a few pictures , along with his social and medical history that she will send me in an email, only if I promise not to open it until I am home with Mike. So I give her my word. Meanwhile, my dad is doing his dad thing. He is sitting next to me telling me to ask this question and that question.... What happened to the parents, what happens if the grandmother changes her mind, what if he is sick with something we don't know about.  Ok, so I don't blame him.... This is what dads do, but I was kind of hoping that he could savor this moment with me and be a little more heart and less head for the moment.
So I go into the other room to call Mike and Gabe to give them the news. It's sort of bitter sweet since Mike is in bed, feeling near death. So I give them the news and head home. Now, I'm actually kind of glad that my cell phone is almost dead because I'm worried I will be tempted to look at his picture before I get home.
Now I'm home...made it all the way without peaking. Go into the room, where Mike is laying in the bed, so I get his laptop and call Gabe into the room. We open the email together and there he is! What a handsome little man! He's tall and looks to be healthy and he's handsome. So, tall and good looking.... Definitely takes after his mom already :) and he's wearing a Scooby Doo shirt, standing on a dirt road, next to Granny, and maybe he's wearing bedroom slippers? There is a small house behind them in the picture. Is this where he lives? So many things going through our minds, as we open the attachments. There is some medical information and social information about him, his birth parents, his village, etc.
Now we officially have 2 weeks to either accept the referal or decline it. If we accept, we are saying that we want him as our son.  So this is the moment we have been waiting on, but how do we know for sure he is our son? I don't know how you "know".  I think I thought that you would feel a certain way, or just know, but now there are all sorts of emotions and A sort of fear that I didn't expect. Fear?   I just don't understand my own emotions. We agree that we will wait for Gods lead, meanwhile we will follow the logical next steps that we had agreed upon following at this point. God, I know you have brought us this far, we put our faith in you!